"Dating Tips of Week" for December 7, 1998 featuring the latest dating tips for men on how to get more dates, improve your relationships and sex life, experience more love, intimacy, romance and surefire techniques, strategies, and methods on how to successfully score with hot & sexy single women.

This week's contribution is from Gary Clark, the author of, "Your Bride Is In The Mail."

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Like many middle-aged American men, I've been married twice. My first wife and I married young and were together a long time. Unlike most American men, my first wife is from a foreign country; in this case it's Japan. We divorced after 20 years when she grew tired of marriage and wanted to be single. That was in 1984 (and she's still single).

Like many long-married men who find themselves suddenly thrust into the singles scene; I was unsure of what to expect, but being the eternal optimist I decided to meet many women to see what I could find. I dated a lot of different women, Caucasian Americans, Americans of Oriental descent and one or two immigrants.

I'm pretty traditional in my view of marriage. I wanted the same sort of relationship my parents and grandparents had. My father and grandfather were the chief source of financial support and my mother and grandmother were the chief source of the emotional and moral support that every good family needs. But none of the women I was meeting wanted that kind of relationship. All of them had their own agendas, all of which were different, but none of them saw being someone's wife; as her chief career choice. Most of these women said they wanted marriage, but they all wanted it on their their terms which were never compatible with my terms.

Too many women had notions about what they wanted that seemed to me to be totally unrealistic. It was as though they all thought that if they could just become a little more like Lois Lane, somehow Superman would appear. All in all, after seven years I never found a single woman who was really acceptable to me as a wife.

At that point, I decided I needed to return to what had worked for me in the past. I decided to actively look for another women in the Far East and considered taking a trip there as sort of a fishing expedition. I discussed this with a friend of mine who suggested that I first try corresponding with foreign women instead. He had done it himself, told me he thought very highly of the method and showed me some of the letters he had received.

I was impressed. It looked like a very good way to make contact, initially at least, with a large number of women who were highly motivated to find husbands. So, in September of 1991 I sent off 190 letters to individual prospects in the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, China and Japan.

I began to receive replies within two to three weeks of sending out my letters. Two of these were from very attractive women in mainland China. Both were in their early 30s, never married and seemed quite interested in me. One of them, a lovely lady from Beijing, is now the second Mrs. Clark. During the course of our letter writing, She and I quite literally fell in love with each other through the mail. The receipt of each other's letters would at times bring tears to the eyes of each of us. Yes, the level of emotion was that intense, between two people who had never met in person, and all of it through the mail.

In the summer of 1992 I flew to Beijing to meet for the first time (and hopefully to marry) just one woman. The date we married, June 12, 1992 was eight months and three weeks from the day I sent out my first 190 letters, one of which went to her.

I spent the rest of June in Beijing and returned to Los Angeles on July first to begin the long process of bringing my new wife to the United States. That process took eight months. She arrived on March 2, 1993. I am now happier than I have ever been, at least in so far as my personal life is concerned. She is as good a wife as any man could hope to have.

When I set out to find my foreign bride I discovered a number of services supplying names, addresses, and photos of interested foreign women. Some of these services were excellent, some less so, but there was no shortage of them. Click Here if you would like to view some listings of Foreign Matchmakers we have listed on our website (these are not paid listings).

In fact, the bride-by-mail movement is a rapidly growing phenomenon. More and more American men are getting fed up with the feminist inspired bullshit they keep getting from American women. Unable to find the kind of wife they want here, these men turn to foreign countries in ever increasing numbers. As a result, many companies have been started whose business is supplying the names, addresses and photos of foreign women seeking American men. New companies in this business are springing up all the time. Some are better than others. Most are ethical. Unfortunately, some are not.

A common misconception is that all or most of the women come from Asia. This is untrue. It has never been true and is less true today than ever. The fastest growing segment in the bride-by-mail movement in the 1990s is, in fact, Caucasian women from Eastern Europe. You will find companies all over the United States in the matchmaking business in one form or another. The women they represent fall into three broad categories:

Caucasian women - in every size, shape, eye and hair color you can imagine. Many are very beautiful, well educated and young. Most are much more culturally sophisticated than the average American woman. Most of these women are found in the former iron countries such as Russia, Ukraine, Poland and other countries of Eastern Europe. Many of these women are very fair skinned.

Oriental women - from China, Thailand, Korea, Vietnam and other countries where the culture is primarily of Confucian-Buddhist origin and other Asian women from Christian and Muslim cultures such as the Philippines, Indonesia and Malaysia. Most of the women from Indonesia and Malaysia seeking foreign husbands are ethnic Chinese who are Christian. Most of these women are of one strain or other of the Mongoloid race; a few are from India or of Indian origin. Most Indians (from India) are dark-skinned Caucasians.

Latin women - from many different South American countries and Mexico. These women may be of Caucasoid, indigenous (South American) Indian or Negroid racial stock. Many, perhaps most, are mixed to some extent. Many of them are extraordinarily beautiful.

Some Recommendations and Cautions

There are many ways to meet women, and there are many ways to go about finding foreign women who seek American husbands. In recent years, the demand for foreign wives by American men has risen dramatically. This has resulted in a sharp jump in the number of companies entering the foreign bride matchmaking market. Today there are probably as many as 50 different such companies in the United States alone. There are additional ones in other countries, since American men aren't the only ones seeking foreign brides. In part, this has been fueled by the worldwide collapse of communism and the disappearance of the Soviet Union. Since the fall of the Soviet Union, the fastest growing segment of the bride-by-mail movement has been Caucasian women from Russia, Ukraine and other countries of Eastern Europe. Many of the newer matchmaking businesses are set up around this new pool of available Russian women.

All these companies operate legally (e.g. within the law), however many of them do not operate using methods for meeting foreign women which I advocate or recommend. The only method of finding a prospective foreign wife I recommend is the one which involves an extended period of letter writing prior to a man going to the woman's country to meet her. It's perfectly OK for a matchmaking company to offer additional services, such as packaged trips and so on, to its clients.

However, any ethical company should operate in such a way that you can first correspond by mail with a fairly large number of different women, do so at a reasonable price, and for several months prior to taking your trip. In addition, an ethical company does not pressure its male clients to take these trips and junkets as an alternative to the lengthy letter writing process.

Unfortunately, not all the companies operate in this way. A number of them refer to their business as a "club" and require you to join their club for a hefty fee before you can meet any of the women they represent. I do not advocate nor recommend companies which operate in this manner. One thing to be wary of is any company which tries to talk you into taking a trip just to meet women, or which offers "junkets" to one or more countries, ostensibly to parade interested women in front of you. There are quite a few companies operating in this way. I do not recommend any of them, nor do I recommend going anywhere just to look for women as possible wives. The penpal bride method works well in matching people up precisely by the lengthy letter writing process. Any method which does not involve lengthy correspondence is far less likely to result in a successful long-term marriage.

There's nothing wrong with a company offering trips and tours. In fact, today most of the larger firms do so. What's wrong is trying to lure men into taking the tours instead of going trough the process of lengthy correspondence. This company is telling you the truth when they say written correspondence, even telephone conversations, don't capture the chemistry... If by chemistry, they're referring to sexual attraction (which is what the term means to me), they're right. The point I'm making is, going on a tour and getting hooked up with some woman based solely on sexual attraction (and whom you know nothing about otherwise) is a sure-fire formula for disaster if what you're looking for is a lasting marriage. And, what's also true is this. If two people have first gone through the lengthy process of screening out people they know (through correspondence) are inappropriate on grounds unrelated to chemistry, there is a very high likelihood that the chemistry will develop later on. There are a lot of happy couples who got married long before the fire ever got started. They did it because they felt they were right for each other on other grounds, such as compatible viewpoints and objectives. When this is the case, it's pretty hard for the fire not to get started sooner or later.

Oh, and one more thing. An ethical company does not advertise under-age girls as prospective brides to a population of older men seeking wives. One can defend the case that carrying listings for 17-year-olds is acceptable. The bride-by-mail process takes long enough that such girls will be 18 by the time any wedding is likely to occur. Also, there is a marked increase in recent years in the number of men in their early 20s who are interested in finding foreign wives. Since foreign women, for the most part, will not respond to a man unless he is older than themselves by at least a few years, carrying listings of women as young as 17 serves both sides of an existing market. However, a company carrying listings of girls ages 16 or younger is not operating in an ethical way. I advise anyone to avoid such a company.