Chapter Twenty-Six Free Excerpt -
" Man's Field Guide to Dating"
Problems - Short Timers
There are those single women that are just fine dating once, twice or maybe three times and then bail out suddenly. While you can't predict this behavior, you can understand it when it happens. In this way you can deal with it. Your best strategy is to let it go. You are only one in a series of men who have played her game. It's not about you. It's about her and her problems. Move on.
- She may be in love with the concept of falling in love. Then she doesn't know what to do with it.
- She may have been hurt badly in a previous relationship. She can't bring herself to get serious.
- She may thoroughly enjoy dating men - lots of men - often. It was just your turn.
- What if you are the one who exhibits these behaviors? That is a serious problem. You will never pass go and collect two hundred dollars if you don't figure out what is wrong. You may need to get some good professional help. However, you can try some of these suggestions to get past the problem.
- Do something about it. If you don't see a strategy here that helps, resolve to find a way to turn the situation around. You are after all playing mind games with yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, or at least you should.
- Try to figure out why. Have you ever had a committed relationship? Did something painful happen? What about during your childhood? Did you have a good relationship with your parents and your siblings?
- Stay in the moment. Deal with her in the present. Don't try to project what might happen in the future if you continue to see her. Also, your potential with her is completely unknown and not related to your past.
- Stretch yourself. Make a good-faith attempt to continue dating her past your usual cut-off point. This will negate ingrained behavior patterns you have developed as a defense.
- Give the new situation a chance. This woman is new in your life. She has nothing to do with any painful episodes in your past. Any comparisons or similarities you are drawing are of your own design. Try to put things in their proper time perspective. That was then - this is now.
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