So when it the appropriate time? This is a tough one. It will vary greatly from couple to couple. We can tell you that the first date is not the time. This hurts, but work with us here. Do you think for one minute that you are so irresistible that any single woman will throw herself at you after three hours of pasta and Merlot? Right. If that were the case, you wouldn't be reading this book and your mail would be addressed: Brad Pitt, Hollywood, CA.
No, there's something else going on. Maybe she does this with every guy she goes out with. She might be drunk. She may be extremely desperate for attention from a guy, any guy and thinks that sex is the quickest way to get it. She may ask you for $100 when it's over! It may be some combination of the above. The question is - is this what you want? Not the sex, dummy, the woman. Do you want to spend more time with her? Are you ready to introduce her to your friends?
What about the second date, or the third? OK, this could get silly. Obviously, there is no magic number. All relationships are going to move at different rates and intensities. If you make the decision that you want to move to a physical relationship, what you need is a reality check. Talk to her! Do you actually have a relationship going here? Is she part of your life? Do you share a lot? Do you trust her? Are you close enough that you can have an honest discussion about having sex? If you can't talk to her about it how are you going to get naked with her? We don't want to remove the passion and make this sound too clinical, but it's important that her expectations are properly focused. If you are not ready to commit to an exclusive relationship, the time to reveal that is before you hit the sack. If that's still OK, and the two of you want to proceed, well . . .