If a relative calls you and says, "I know just the girl for you!' - be very cautious. The problem is that they have no idea what you are looking for. If you implement the ideas in this book you will develop a clear idea of the type of person you are seeking. They only know what they think would be good for you. Also they are trying to help someone they know. (Why does she need all this help?)

Women love to do this. They cannot tolerate a salt shaker without a peppershaker. It's in their genes. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, a single woman abhors an available, unmatched male. Beware. You will be set up on a blind date with a minimal chance of success. When the date is over, the "matchmaker" will call and say, "Well, what did you think? Isn't she terrific?" Now, what do you say? You will end up hurting Aunt Hilda's feelings and struggling through an uncomfortable cup of coffee with her best friend's daughter who is determined to start a mink farm and have at least seven children.

So how do you handle referrals? In spite of the last paragraph, this is to be encouraged. You see, the example in the previous paragraph was unsolicited. You have to be in control. It's called networking - simple. Try to arrange a meeting with a group of people. ("A bunch of us are going to the Arts Festival this weekend. Why don't you and Fred bring Karen and we can meet?" - Very safe for both of you.) Avoid spending an evening at the well-meaning couple's home for dinner. It will be the longest night of your life.