"Dating Tips of Week" for April 12, 1999 featuring the latest dating tips for men on how to get more dates, improve your relationships and sex life, experience more love, intimacy, romance and surefire techniques, strategies, and methods on how to successfully score with hot & sexy single women.

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This week's contribution is from Gary Clark, the author of, "Your Bride Is In The Mail."

With the exception of some foreign men seeking a path to legal US residency, there is very little demand for American women in the world of international marriages. By demand, I refer to people who make the conscious decision that they want wives or husbands from outside their native cultures and then actively seek such people with the intent to marry. Men doing this intend to bring the women home to their countries as brides. There have always been, and will continue to be, foreign men and American women who meet in more conventional ways and marry. This lack of formal demand for American brides is not something that is particularly new. In fact, there's a saying (the origin of which I don't know) which states that the difference between Heaven and Hell is something like this:

While there's virtually no demand for American wives, there is a huge demand for American husbands. Thousands of foreign women are seeking husbands in the international bride market. Most of these women seem to prefer an American man if they can find one. American men are highly sought after because, compared to (what these women know about) the men in most countries, American men simply make better husbands.

There's certainly no shortage of women residing in the poorer countries abroad who would like to marry a man from somewhere else. There are also lots of women in the richer countries too. Probably the majority of these women prefer to marry an American. American men have a reputation throughout the world for being good husbands who treat their wives well and are generally faithful to them. For the most part, this is something they don't find among the men at home. If they're from poor circumstances, they want to come to America for all the same reasons that so many other people from all over the world want to do it. They want a better life for themselves. If they don't come from poor circumstances, they simply want to find a good husband who will treat them well. The majority of these women do, however, come from the poorer countries. Leaving one's homeland to live in America is obviously an attractive idea to anyone in such a country. Finding a good husband and, in the process, also going to a country where life is easier can be a powerful motivator.

Probably the majority of foreign women are attracted to American men simply because they see them as better than the men at home. In many countries the lot of a woman is not very pleasant. They are not treated well by the men in their own cultures and they see Americans as men who treat their wives quite well. They also see America as a country which generally treats women well. Add it all up and it's pretty obvious why so many foreign women are seeking American husbands. It's not hard to find men with beautiful American wives ten to twenty years younger than themselves but, if you take a second look, all these men are rich. It's obvious that their much younger wives were greatly influenced in their decisions to marry these men by the fact that, in doing so, they would greatly improve their own lives financially and socially. There's no shortage of such stories in our popular culture. Unfortunately not all men are rich. The truth is the average middle-aged American man who is probably divorced with grown or nearly grown children, whose income is strictly middle class, who is probably too fat and who has certainly lost the glow of youth himself, has little chance of finding a young attractive wife here. To the young and beautiful American women, there is no advantage to be gained by marrying such an average middle-aged man. To them such a man is, let's face it, unattractive.

From the point of view of many foreign women, completely the opposite is true. In many cultures it's common for a woman to marry a man between ten and twenty years her senior, particularly if, in doing so, she gains either social standing or financial security. The truth is, traditional minded women the world over seek men who can provide both these things for them when they marry. To a young and beautiful woman from a poor country, the average middle-aged American can seem very attractive indeed (even if he's too fat). During the course of my own search for a second wife, I received numerous unsolicited letters from women as much as 30 years younger than myself. Even though I stated a preference for Orientals, many such letters came from young blue-eyed blondes from places like Russia and Poland.

Most of the women who decide to seek an American or other foreign husband come from countries that are poorly developed economically. Women the world over tend to seek economic advantage when they marry, so this fact should not be any surprise. But, what's also true is the fact that in most of these countries the cultural expectations of the women toward being a wife are very different from that of today's American woman.

Most of the economically underdeveloped countries also have strongly male-dominated societies in which the view held toward the role of wife is a very traditional one. In going into marriage, most of these women fully expect to put home and husband first. They're socialized to be the kind of supportive, nurturing wife and homemaker that your great grandmother probably was for your great grandfather. In return, they expect to marry a man who will provide well for them. In marrying an American, they expect to find a man who will provide for them on a scale they would be very unlikely to find at home.

This does not mean that they are gold diggers. Women the world over have sought a measure of economic security and, hopefully, increased social standing through marriage. These women seek nothing more than the same thing most women have always traditionally sought. Indeed, their views are very traditional, which makes them such good candidates for men who want to find a traditional wife.

The beautiful thing about this is that, to such a woman living in a poor country, an American man does not have to be rich to provide all the economic incentive she needs. To most of these women, the average American seems fabulously rich in the first place. Add to this the prospect of coming to, living in and eventually becoming a citizen of the US and the perceived advantage to her becomes overwhelming. If an American man is middle class, and can provide a home and income at that level, he's very likely to look like Donald Trump to a lot of women living in less advantaged circumstances. This means that the average American guy can find a much younger woman as attractive as Marla Maples if he wants one.

Don't think for a minute though that most of the available women are poorly educated or come from the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder in their own countries. For the most part, exactly the opposite is true. Most of the women who seek a foreign husband are very well educated. Many are college graduates. The prevailing social attitudes in their own countries are another factor driving the better educated women to seek foreign husbands.

Most American women who read my writings will find my views to be extremely chauvinistic, but I can assure you that my views are quite mild compared to those held by the men in many of the countries where women seeking an American husband are found. In most of these countries, men do not want to marry a woman who is better educated than themselves. Most prefer a woman less educated than they are. As a result, the more educated a woman becomes, the less likely she is to find a husband in her own society. This factor will drive many of the best educated women in such countries to seek foreign husbands. Women in the age range between 30 and 40 who have never married tend to be heavily influenced by this factor; the one who married me is an example. This is another real advantage to the American man in his 40s or 50s who wants to find an attractive quality woman much younger than himself. To an American man of 50, a woman in her early 30s certainly qualifies as much younger. Many such women are quite beautiful and would certainly fill the Marla Maples image from his viewpoint.

From her viewpoint, she's over 30 and 'over the hill' in her own society... and she knows it. Her American guy may or may not look like Donald Trump to her, but from the point of view of a woman who feels over-age and over-educated at home, her American guy may seem more like Prince Charming. After all, he wants her and the men at home who might meet her requirements usually don't. Indeed, most of the well educated women seeking foreign husbands are driven more by the urge to simply find a husband than by thoughts of bettering themselves socially or economically. Any American man seeking a wife from one of these countries has an advantage, but the guy in his late 30s to early 50s has the absolute 'pick of the litter.' If you're in this group, times were never better to look at the foreign bride market.

Another area worthy of social comparison is that of children, parenting and homemaking. The traditional view of parenting is that proper mothering requires the woman to remain at home to provide a suitable environment and to care for the child or children. Today, though, many (if not most) American women seem to believe that the traditional duties of the mother ought to be shared by both parents. Naturally, if she is pursuing an active career outside the home, such an arrangement will be of benefit to her. Many men, however, have little interest in sharing mothering and housekeeping duties with their wives, particularly if they themselves are pursuing demanding careers.

Most foreign women who enter the international bride market will have the same traditional views toward the mother and homemaker roles as your grandmother probably held. She fully expects to be the one who stays home, takes care of the kids, cooks the meals and keeps the house clean. After all, she hasn't been brought up to believe that it should be otherwise. This doesn't mean she'll hold still for being treated like a slave though. If circumstances force her to go to work, or if you both agree that it's OK for her to work, she'll expect some help around the house... and she should get it. This really gives the American man who marries such a woman the best of both worlds. For the fellow who prefers a more traditional parental role, his foreign wife will most likely be happy with it. For the man who wants a more active role in parenting, she will most likely be delighted to have him do so.

P.S. If you would like more information from our website on where to find foreign single women to meet and marry please click here.