"Dating Tips of Week" for November 2, 1998 featuring the latest dating tips for men on how to get more dates, improve your relationships and sex life, experience more love, intimacy, romance and surefire techniques, strategies, and methods on how to successfully score with hot & sexy single women.

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An unfortunate reality is that women usually have to be more worried about this than men. A lot of women may be very skittish about meeting a man. Sometimes, a woman will initially be excited about the romantic nature of an email relationship, but then will get spooked when the reality hits that she actually has to meet this guy in person. The tips I have for men are as follows:

1. Don't press her for a meeting. Be patient, trade mail with her a while, and allow the relationship to develop before you try to meet.
2. Don't press her for her phone number. If she offers it to you, great, but don't ask her for it. Instead, after you've traded mail for a while, you should offer her your number. If she doesn't call, or offer you hers in return, that should tell you something.
3. At some point, whenever it feels appropriate, offer her some references, preferably female references.

#3 is a particularly interesting one, and is an option not many people think of. What better way of assuring a woman that you're okay than to have her talk to women who know you? Ask several women you know (at least two I would think) if they will be willing to serve as personal references for you. You'll probably be surprised at how many women will be delighted at the prospect of checking references on you. The very fact that you're willing to offer up this kind of reference to a woman will also tell her you're a gentleman.

(By the way, don't be a dork about this. Don't post your references publicly, and go handing them to just anyone who writes you. Offer them only to women you've been talking to for a while who you've decided you'd really like to meet, and be sure that the people you use as references are actually willing to act in this capacity for you.)

By the way, it's not a bad idea for women to offer references to a man either. How does a man know a woman's not a psycho, or that she's not actually a man pretending to be a woman? References are one of the very best ways to assure someone that you're for real.

For everyone: chances are very good that nothing worse than disappointment will ever happen to you as a result of using personal ads, so don't get paranoid. Just remember, everything in life carries risk; the healthy way to react to risk is with common sense and reasonable precautions, not paranoia.

This article is reprinted by permission and is Copyright 1995 and 1996 by Dean Esmay.